Hilariously terrible art in the Cathedral of Burgos

Burgos is a matriarchy.  The city is dominated by old ladies with their brown coats and boxy purses, walking arm in arm, playing cards and drinking cocoa in cafes, and just generally owning the place.  (Note to self, consider retiring in Burgos).  We were charmed by the old city at night and the few Camino sites we visited.  And then we went inside the cathedral.

burgos1

Gentle readers: this is a famous Gothic church and a UNESCO World Heritage Site.  See how presentable it looks from the outside?  Inside we found a couple of sculptural masterworks….and lots of lots of terrible art.  The interior decoration feels like a gang of rich people with no taste had a competition for who could make the shiniest, tackiest, most narcissistic memorial to themselves.

burgosjerrycurl

Jerry curl camels.

burgospeace

God takes up bowling.

burgosnotflattering

How many naked toddlers does it take to hold up an unflattering portrait?

dance

All the hairy guys in the house put your hands up.

burgobabyexplosion

Insipid Mary and her exploding putti pile.

burgostonge

We share his opinion of the cathedral’s bad audio tour.

burgosrisen

Oh heeeeey people–I am risen!

burgossquishy

What the hell is wrong with your right arm, Joseph?

burgostlipstick

Sometimes I have bad lipstick days too….

burgosblockhead

Block Head Ox and Ass.

burgosfootstare

Maybe if I stare at this foot a while longer I won’t keep thinking about those weird bulges on Baby J’s legs.

 

 

How we got to Burgos: train from Bayonne to Hendaye, another (4 minute ride) train from Hendaye to Irun, followed by a third train from Irun to Burgos.

Where we slept: Hotel Centro Los Braseros.  Price: €45 for a double.  Recommended: yes.

 

 

 

 

 

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18 comments

  1. I live your humor. 🙂

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  2. I love your humor. 🙂

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  3. ohhhh my… that is… quite some… art…

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    1. Those scary baby heads…..

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  4. Truly hilarious. Even horrible statues do look a little better with the garish paint all worn off. I once saw an exhibit in Vienna with exquisite Greek statue reproductions, painted as they would have been. They looked awful.

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    1. Good point. We like to think the Greeks were all subtle and refined–no dice.

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  5. Oh no. These are so bad! God bowling was my favorite though.

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    1. On Sunday He rested–and went to his bowling league…

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      1. God defeated the camels, and as punishment for their poor sportsmanship, the camels were sentenced to a lifetime of bad jerry curls.

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  6. This is all wonderful. I fail to see a problem.

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    1. Actually I think the Hairy Guy carving is a great work of art, but I had to add it because it’s so funny.

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  7. It’s kinda kitsch but cool…

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    1. Jeff Koons would probably dig it….

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  8. Your comments are hilarious. You also remind me how much fun it can be to really look.

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    1. Thank you theartonthewall. Really looking is the thing, isn’t it? HOB and I like to take our time checking out the art (and having the occasional laugh too…)

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  9. Oh my gosh, too funny! Guess I’m a sucker for funny looking baby Jesus paintings. Great blog!

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    1. Thank you Kelly. I am especially fond of early medieval baby Jesus art, like when he’s a tiny bald old man or he has weird squishy parts. I sometimes think, did they have actual babies then for a frame of reference? ‘Cause I’ve never seen a real baby like that.

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